First, Love Yourself

Sometimes I wonder why I keep going. I can usually handle the parenting of two children that have some very specific challenges the way mine do. I can usually keep my patience, remind myself that I am only one person and that I am doing my best. But right now, I have just had enough. My almost-thirteen year old is so obstinate...all the time. And she seems to constantly have it out for me. She has taken to blatantly telling me no, with teenage attitude and all. The thing is, I'm not sure how I managed to lose control in our relationship. I may not have always been a consistent parent, but in the last 5 years that has really changed. I just don't understand why something as simple as washing the dishes has to turn into all-out war. If I challenge her, it will be an all-night battle. If I let her off, she wins. Either way, I lose. And the fact is that I still need her help. I'm exhausted, I've had little sleep, she's trying every nerve I've got, and I just want he...

No matter how much I do, there always seems to be more! I probably shouldn't have spent last weekend out at the coast, but I feel like I really needed to take the opportunity to get to know my mom more. We've been unable to bridge a gap between us for about the last 12 years, and for the first time we're really trying to talk to one another. There were so many factors that made our relationship what it is, some of which being things that happened during my childhood. But I have realized recently that I am never going to be content unless I can forgive and make the best of the relationship I can have with her. So, I've been trying to cultivate one. We spent a day together last week, and then we spent the weekend together this past weekend. I have to say that I am cautiously optimistic about the way things are going. It's possible that for the first time in my life, I might have a mother. Now, that may not seem important to someone in their thirties. I mean, do I real...