Spinning My Wheels

No matter how much I do, there always seems to be more!

I probably shouldn't have spent last weekend out at the coast, but I feel like I really needed to take the opportunity to get to know my mom more. We've been unable to bridge a gap between us for about the last 12 years, and for the first time we're really trying to talk to one another. There were so many factors that made our relationship what it is, some of which being things that happened during my childhood. But I have realized recently that I am never going to be content unless I can forgive and make the best of the relationship I can have with her. So, I've been trying to cultivate one. We spent a day together last week, and then we spent the weekend together this past weekend. I have to say that I am cautiously optimistic about the way things are going. It's possible that for the first time in my life, I might have a mother. Now, that may not seem important to someone in their thirties. I mean, do I really need a mother at this point? I would argue yes. I think that there is no time in a person's life where they don't need some sort of guidance from their mother. At this point, I'm trying to not have raised expectations and to just accept her for who she is and what she can realistically be to me.

School is going well, albeit crazily. It's a lot of work, and sometimes it feels as if I'm not learning much of anything. And then suddenly, I will feel overwhelmed with everything swimming through my head. I have so many apprehensions about the coming year of internship. I hope that I am ready. I want to be a good teacher, more than I can say.

This is a short post, since I have to get on my homework.

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